An extract from ‘Through the Mists’ book group – chapter eight.
‘….if I just experience my desire; if I’m just humble to my desire; and I let that emotional experience even purify my desire ….if you think about it, if you really allow the experience emotionally of what you want, any fear you have around it immediately gets triggered, but also you can kind of feel if it’s a bit icky as well, can’t you? A lot of times you can. Often we shut it down and act it out because we don’t want to feel the ickiness of when it’s out of harmony with love; or when it’s in harmony with love, we don’t want to feel those terrible feelings that Fred felt : Please tell me I can do it; I can’t bear it if I can’t do it. You know, so, this experience of allowing desire really opens us up emotionally to everything, I feel. All of the error; all of the fear; and all of the beauty inside of us. And what I really felt with what Cushna was showing to Fred there is, if we are just humble to desire; and we’re humble to God’s way of the universe acting, then God will present the opportunity for our desire to be fulfilled. And in the way he deems us to be ready.
‘And my experience of that is : Yeah, I think I’m going to do a book group with twelve people in our living room. And then sixty-five of you turn up; and I go : Okay, God obviously thinks I’m ready for 65 people. (laughs) I don’t. I followed my desire and this is what came, I have to trust God on this one because I feel pretty insignificant. And you know, that was the beautiful thing, I wrote in my journal : There’s an interplay between desire and God; and patience requires humility, or it’s enabled by humility; and God sees the best time, and we only need to be ready to respond when He presents the opportunity. So this idea of having to force through the fear and make the desire happen, it’s a lack of humility, isn’t it? We will act when the opportunity is brought to us, we don’t have to push it to happen, we don’t have to be passive, we just have to be ready to respond and be humble to the feelings that are going on.’ Mary Magdelene