Then, there is loveAnd the taste of lifelike wild honey on my tongueSweet, fragrant and intense,An exotic, unnamed song Untested, bold horizons begin to clap against my eyesEnchanted sunlit gardens Dawning, dappled skies A world revealed, existingalongside human misery and shame,Eternal, always offeredshould we just release all pain The promise of our futureis greater than […]
In the shadows of my life
I see wisdom shining through
Hidden deep inside me
Just like there is in you
This wisdom can remind me
Of all the things that I am
All the things that excite me
All the things that I can
I can decide my future
I can love and appreciate
I can deeply and completely
Enjoy everything that’s great
Like breathing and relaxing
In my comfy bed at night
Like revelling in my playground
The streets paved with life
Like having love surround me
My friends and family
Like everything I ask for
Coming surely as can be
I work and I worry
I wonder and I think
I exercise my free will
And sometimes I forget to blink
Blinking for a moment
Is what brings me clarity
Making everything So clear
It seems like charity
In the shadow of my life
Lurks the answers that are best
If I listen and be still
I’ll get the blueprint to my quest
An extract from a conversation about chapter 14 of ‘Through the Mists’ with Jesus and Mary Magdalene . ‘Through The Mists’, Chapter 14 – The Relationship of Sleep to Death
[01:36:29.23] A.J.: Of course, it’s a matter of developing trust, isn’t it? So, for example, if somebody tells us twenty-five things that are right, then there’s a chance that twenty-six things that they tell us might be right too. If they tell us in such a manner that is driven by love, and we can feel the love, then there’s much higher chance that the next thing they tell us will be true. If they tell us twenty-five things that are right, but we feel a feeling of anger or rage or other negative emotions from the person who’s telling us, then there’s a chance that we’re being manipulated through the telling of Truth. If they’re telling us the truth to make us feel good about ourselves to feed an addiction, there’s a pretty high likelihood that there’s something wrong and amiss with the person who’s telling us the Truth. And that applies whether they’re on the earth or in the spirit world. So, the key is going to be, the fruitage of the person. If, in the end, the prophecy turns out to be true, as he points out, then, of course, he was a true prophet. And, by the way, people who want to influence us negatively can be true prophets. It’s like a person coming to tell you the Truth about something, just to hurt you, even though it is the Truth. You can feel if you are sensitive – and this is what he’s talking about and referring to when he says : like every other gift of God, this requires a most careful development and education. What he’s talking about is the gift of God’s to be able to sense the feelings of other people. This is a beautiful gift of God, and it actually helps us determine greatly a person’s intentions. If we can truly feel the feelings coming from another person, we will understand why they are saying a particular thing to us; and if we understand why, then we will know who we can trust. If they are saying something to us out of rage, anger – even though it’s true – then we know it’s not fully trustworthy because the spirit in which it is delivered is untrustworthy. The spirit in which it is delivered has errors in it. If, though, it’s given in love and consideration and kindness; and respect for our free-will; and it’s still delivered to us; and it turns out to be true, then it’s highly reliable and something we can work with in our future.
Extract from a discussion at the book group of Through The Mists – chapter 11. Part one of full discussion
[01:07:50.03] Audience: (Teresa) That brings me to a question I had about that chapter. About my motivation for seeking God. This is something I’ve thought about before; and I thought : does it matter if the only reason I’m looking for God is so I don’t hurt anymore; or is it I can use it to be more, I don’t know, have more pure desire? Does it matter if it’s just to get out of the pain?
[01:11:12.15] Mary: Very much so. You’re wanting from God – as lots of you pointed out, very eloquently – you know, there’s an addiction, actually, you’re wanting to set up with God. And it will backfire (laughter). You’re not going to get far before God’s going to want to confront you with : It’s not going to work, my daughter; you’re going to actually embrace pain in order to grow. What do you feel about that?
(conversation picks up a bit later)
[01:11:41.16] Audience: (Teresa) I feel, and I’m getting rid of that feeling of pain, but it still feels like that’s the driving force behind it; just to be happy; and I’m not sure of the pureness of that desire – maybe not so much to get out of pain, but to just be happy, is that…..
[01:12:04.09] Mary: Yeah. Can I put to you a different desire? Rather than desiring to be happy, could you desire to be whole? Could you desire to be all of Teresa? Whether that’s painful or pleasurable or joyful or fearful; and whether that takes you in a direction that you never have gone before. Down a path of desire of creativity that you never thought would ever be a part of you. That’s the sort of thing… that’s the desires we’re going to have if we’re going to have a relationship with God. This feeling that : I’m going to trust you, God; and I’m going to desire to not only know you but to know me. Both desires we really need if we’re going to grow towards God. And right now, me is not that happy; or happy sometimes, but there’s sadness sometimes. And, yes, it’s true, when we really grow in this relationship with God, sadness will be a thing of the past. So, it’s not bad to want joy, you know, it’s not. But if that’s your only….for example, if you want to be happy without being whole, it’s impossible in a true sense. By using the word ‘whole’ I mean to really know yourself; to really embrace everything that’s in you right now, but also the potentials of things, the great things that are in you. You have to be willing to face your fear of those things. You’re not going to have a desire for them : Yep, I’ve got that, you know, because otherwise you’d already be experiencing them. So there’s going to be fears to face as we do that, to embrace everything that’s within us now; and everything that we have the potential to be, that’s also scary sometimes. Yeah. But that’s the kind of desire that will carry you very close to God. So, I agree with what the girls said about being real with where you’re at, and just engaging God in that right now and saying : look, this is what I feel right now. Can you give me truth about this. Can you show me how this is going to work and be beautiful. But I don’t think you’re alone in that feeling, Teresa. I think a lot of people feel that it would just be good to be out of pain; and feeling like there’s a lot of pain. But as we develop humility, we’ll develop the willingness to not only experience the pain, but just experience what God is bringing to us. You know. Good question.
An extract from ‘Through the Mists’ book group – chapter eight.
‘….if I just experience my desire; if I’m just humble to my desire; and I let that emotional experience even purify my desire ….if you think about it, if you really allow the experience emotionally of what you want, any fear you have around it immediately gets triggered, but also you can kind of feel if it’s a bit icky as well, can’t you? A lot of times you can. Often we shut it down and act it out because we don’t want to feel the ickiness of when it’s out of harmony with love; or when it’s in harmony with love, we don’t want to feel those terrible feelings that Fred felt : Please tell me I can do it; I can’t bear it if I can’t do it. You know, so, this experience of allowing desire really opens us up emotionally to everything, I feel. All of the error; all of the fear; and all of the beauty inside of us. And what I really felt with what Cushna was showing to Fred there is, if we are just humble to desire; and we’re humble to God’s way of the universe acting, then God will present the opportunity for our desire to be fulfilled. And in the way he deems us to be ready.
‘And my experience of that is : Yeah, I think I’m going to do a book group with twelve people in our living room. And then sixty-five of you turn up; and I go : Okay, God obviously thinks I’m ready for 65 people. (laughs) I don’t. I followed my desire and this is what came, I have to trust God on this one because I feel pretty insignificant. And you know, that was the beautiful thing, I wrote in my journal : There’s an interplay between desire and God; and patience requires humility, or it’s enabled by humility; and God sees the best time, and we only need to be ready to respond when He presents the opportunity. So this idea of having to force through the fear and make the desire happen, it’s a lack of humility, isn’t it? We will act when the opportunity is brought to us, we don’t have to push it to happen, we don’t have to be passive, we just have to be ready to respond and be humble to the feelings that are going on.’ Mary Magdelene
Mary: Okay, let me have a stab at it, I’ll see how I go. My understanding of the Laws from the condition I’m in at the moment is that the Law of Compensation is the wheel that grinds very finely. As we saw in chapter one or two, God sees everything that is in our soul. The things we’ve done to harm others; the loving things we’ve done, it’s all there; it’s all laid out at every moment; there’s no judgement that we pass. And the Law of Compensation is acting on our soul; in terms of pain it is the experience…remember what I said about repentance. So if I’ve harmed Luli, I desire to feel the pain that she must feel as a result of my harm, the Law of Compensation is God enacting that process on my soul. He’s saying there’s harm you’ve caused others, there’s harm you’ve caused others, here’s the pain of it. But I’m using my will in the opposite direction. I don’t want to acknowledge that I’ve done it; I don’t want to feel the pain of others; I don’t want to feel sorry about it, but it’s always in operation. And that’s God saying : Okay, but Laws of Love govern this universe so you can use your love any way you want but there’s a consequence because you’re breaking a Law of Love. When we’re repentant we say : I want to feel this pain; I want to feel the pain that I’ve caused to Luli; I want to see the error that made me do it; I want to do everything I can to take away that pain from her. So then, I’m using my will in harmony with love. So, that’s how it interacts, it’s just the willingness now when I’m repentant because I want to feel that pain, then a whole other Law comes into play. And what I understand is that God can assist us so much more when we use our will in harmony with love. So that’s the thing, we won’t desire relief, we will desire Luli’s pain. We will say : No, I want the pain; I want the pain now. And God will help us then work through that pain. But when we’re using our will in the opposite direction going : Nothing to do with Luli, I didn’t do anything; I don’t really want to look at that. Then the Law of Compensation is acting upon our soul. Does that make sense? Yep. Through the Mist book discussion
1 – What do I believe from my childhood about –
Strength, perfection, gender, holiness, self-expression, parent, society, emotions, work, fun, moral, ethics, security, lack?
2 – What do I do to avoid feeling childhood beliefs?
Addictions and supporting beliefs “….does everyone understand the relationship between these belief systems now that are inside of you; and you as an adult going through your life? Can you see the relationship of how they’re affecting you? Yep. It’s very important you see the negative side of this because that will help you make the decision to make a different choice. See, if you believe that doing all of these things in this way that we’ve brought up is actually ‘good’ you’ll never make a different choice. But if you start seeing that every one of these things must be affecting you; your intellect; your decisions; the way you see the world; the way you see yourself; the way you see your environment; the way you see your family, your friends, your husband, your wife, your children, your work and all these other things are all defined by these things that come from your childhood, you’ll start to see that it’s no wonder we’ve got pretty messed up lives half the time. And then you’ll also go : Okay, if that is what is causing me to do what I’m doing now, imagine the life that you really want. How are you going to get there? By changing these – these have to change to get you to have a different life. We need to understand that emotionally – these have to change in order for us to actually have a different outcome. We need to change that relationship. If we don’t see that relationship it’s highly unlikely that we’ll start looking at our addictions, because we have no motivation to look at them. If you believe that you’re life’s all together right now and everything’s great and you’re very, very happy thank you very much, it’s highly unlikely that you’ll change your behaviour or any of your belief systems. But if you can see that the life is pretty messed up right now and there are lots of problems with it that you eventually let yourself connect to and you can see that then you’ll want to change some of these things; and when you want to change some of these things then you’ll want to look at what you do to avoid feeling these things. But for the majority of us, we don’t want to look at what we do to avoid, because we think all these things are true. In fact many of us hold onto them for dear life. Somebody can come along and say : Look that belief is actually false. And you argue with them; you’ll fight with them. Sometimes you’ll fight to the death on one of these things – most of the wars in history have been caused by one of these issues – being out of harmony with love. Most of the deaths in the world have been caused by these issues being imposed upon a group of people in society; so many people, in fact, that they can go to war with another group of people about them. So most wars are caused by a distortion of the truth about these issues. Just even the issue of strength causes wars – what is strength; what is perfection? causes wars. Historically there’s been wars between two different types of religious faiths because of their definition of perfection; or their definition of what makes you holy. So once we start seeing : Wow, the effects of these things all being childhood beliefs that are out of harmony with God’s definition of love. Once we start seeing it, we go : We need to change this; inside of myself I need to change this; I need to start doing something actively and urgently to change this, is the feeling we would have. We wouldn’t want to keep on accepting what we currently accept.” Jesus